How are expectations and boundaries intertwined? How do our expectations cloud our perceptions of reality, and how do our boundaries relate to this process? Donald Neale Walsch said, and I’m paraphrasing here, “The difference between our expectations and the reality of a situation is directly proportional to the amount of pain we experience.” We create all our suffering. What does this mean? It means that when our expectations are higher than what is transpiring, instead of evaluating our expectations we instead suffer with a sense of lack or loss.
We grieve the death of an idea. Very rarely do we grieve losing a partnership to breakup. We suffer the loss of an idea, of the potential in the individual or dynamic. We grieve that another didn’t reach our idea of their potential and meet our expectations. As Empaths we don’t see people, we see energy. We hold visions of others, not as they are, but, as the potential we see in them. Empaths then resonant with the higher vision to hold space for the growth in oneself and another to that perceived potential. This is a beautiful process, when this process is understood! It can manifest as a living hell for those unaware.
The unaware Empath becomes “attached” to the process and then to another soul’s navigation of their own path. The Empath begins to define their value through the reflection in the dynamic. And through this entanglement expectations are formed. Expectations are internal, individual, and unique ideas held within each Soul’s construct of reality. No two souls here evolve exactly the same way. Everyone has a different understanding of reality. Each individual assigns the importance and meaning to each word, thought, and circumstance from an internal construct.
When I look at a color and say, “That’s red.” How do you know that you perceive the same color that I do? There are many forms of color-blindness in our gene maps. We have agreed as a global consciousness to assign a name to a vibration in nature. We do not know what each individual perceives when viewing a color. My perception of red may appear blue to you. Yet, by societal and culture “norms” we have learned a vibration and attached a name without any idea of how it is perceived individually. An example is to pick neutral lighting, a bit after sunset is good. Find a traffic light. Close one eye and see how you perceive the green or red light, then close the other. Is the color (hue) different? I see two different shades of Green and Red.
Each Soul has a different construct or understanding of the word love. A Soul raised in a healthy nurturing environment has one concept of what love is while a soul raised with abuse will have a totally different idea about what love is. Those raised in co-dependent families naturally tend towards that model. These three individuals, with their associated wounds, will view and approach love from very differently perceived realities. Some Soul see loving relationships as possession. Some call control love. Some believe domination is love. This is why communication is so important when discerning boundaries. A man who prefers a polyamourous lifestyle is not going to fit well into a monogamous arrangement.
When we enter a dynamic with the thought “I can change that in him or her,” Already we are projecting our expectations onto another. We have based our happiness and well-being on another’s choices and actions. We have made a decision to put our experience into another’s hands. This has proven to be an unproductive approach to personal growth. We are better served as individual shards and a collective to follow our bliss. To find our center and reflect a new paradigm. Suffering is a construct of demands placed on whole beings and the inference that we are not whole. That we “need” or “lack” in who and what we are. We are not meatsuits attempting to embrace a higher reality. We are whole and amazing beings learning to navigate a meatsuit! If we hold that knowing, our perception of reality reflects our higher vision.
The bottom line is that no one else knows your expectations. Unless two Souls have taken the time to discuss, review and verify their expectations of a relationship, there are no boundaries in the relationship. And even with committed communication, problems arise. Words have different meanings to different Souls. When things are not dealt with or discussed thoroughly, internally catalyzed expectations arise. In the unspoken spaces, the Empath fills in the blanks. Not with reality, but with the highest vision of each persons potential. (A side note here), The Empath sees the potential in all things. The rest of the population is frequently unaware of their potential, and is just as frequently unwilling to grow.
In an ideal world, there would be no expectation. Each soul would interact, parallel, converge, and diverge without attachment to an outcome. A fully actualized being would have no need for another in their reality to feel whole. Each would be sovereign. This is the 5D model of relationships. We seek out relationships that nurture and grow us. We are whole bits of Source, every drop of the ocean contains all of the ocean. If you break a mirror each shard will reflect the entire image. We are complete in every way.
We have been conditioned and programmed by culture, society, and religion to believe we are not whole. And we are programmed to believe that we cannot be happy or complete without a counterpart. Some even dare to define and limit what types of unions that are deemed “acceptable”. Society, culture and religion tell us what we are to “need” to be productive humans in a 3D world. The higher wisdom is withheld. And the best way to keep the masses embroiled in 3D is to set up expectations outside the organic flow and constructs of nature.
As stated in TES Article III, there are examples in nature of monogamy. And the human animal is not one of these examples. When we embody the concept that we are not enough we spend lifetimes pursuing wholeness in another. The the Empath is kept seeking in the lower energies while there is little time or resources left for the real and bigger questions.
How do we shift expectations to boundaries? When I am asked, “How do I help raise the frequency and the global consciousness on Gaia?” I always respond with Chaipod’s saying, “It’s an inside job.” We, as Empaths, learn to release expectation; which is an energetic projection of our reality onto another, and replace these expectations with boundaries; which are an internal and introspective process that holds space for both to grow! We take back the power and control we have given others. We take back these parts of ourselves by setting boundaries. Not projecting our reality onto another. To project is to base ones well-being on another’s actions. As humans we are flawed and messy. To embody is to express our wholeness and creating space to flow in our dynamics with a better understanding of what we are and how we reflect here in 3D, 4D, and 5D.
We focus instead on what we feel is essential from Heart and not from a globally sleeping consciousness. The Empath learns the difference between re-acting in Ego and responding with presence. Reacting is a process that requires no thought or foresight. Responding is a process of awareness and compassion. We don’t engage in the unproductive behaviors of others. We see the wounds that are being expressed and Instead we explore ourselves and our reactions in these dynamics. The Empath learns to discern what resonates with our reality, and in doing so we set boundaries of what is acceptable within our experience. Then if someone pushes those boundaries, we are firm in our resolve.Boundaries can always be reevaluated. Remember we live in constant flux. We never settle for the lower expressions in our reality. In honoring ourselves in the highest, we honor all other Soul in our experience, regardless of the outcome.
When I say “Why did he/she do that?” I know, immediately, I am projecting. Everyone is experiencing their own version of reality. Truly deep bonds and understanding are rare. When we find these we fin our tribe. Most are not tribe and hold many paradigms of suffering and wounds in their realities. Instead of projecting into another’s reality full of wounds and contradictions, I become introspective and ask instead, “Ok, why do I care?” “How does this impact my well-being?” And most importantly, “What is my most empathic and highest expression.” “What would be the best way to respond for my highest good and the highest good for all in this dynamic?”
I do not say do the highest, I say be the highest. Doing is a 3D idea. Being is multidimensional. It’s not about doing for results, it’s about being, and creating space and allowing. When the win/loss mentality of Ego is set aside, everything looks different. The adversarial reality so many cling to dies, and the unfolding awareness that we are all in this together becomes crystal clear.
We talked about embodying a concept in TES Article II . When something empowers you and resonates with you, ask Source to help you embody the concept. This helps to seat your intentions deeply into the body. Remember we are multidimensional beings integrating this knowing into a physical form. It is a very powerful process. It is beyond rote understanding, correlation and application. It is a request to embody and live an intention. A very sacred and deep devotion to changing our reality here and shifting the collective.
I’d like to introduce another concept here. The concept of a “Soulprint.” The Soulprint is similar to a “Carbon footprint.” We all leave an impression on the collective here. Every thought is recorded in the ether for all time. And the majority of impressions here are riddled with ego paradigms, suffering and fear. This is why we live in an ego-driven, fear-based 3D world now. This is what the collective is reflecting into our reality. A Shaman in India once told me, “All the global wars are just reflections of our internal battles spilling into our 3D manifestation.” Be awake and aware of the Soulprint you are creating here. It reflects forever. The Akashic Records contain packets for each of us containing wisdom and healing. Raise your Soulprint, which is vibration and your energetics, and these records are released to you and benefit the whole. I access these records for the Empaths ready for the new paradigm and unfolding.
Here’s an exercise. Spend one day reflecting on your expectations and how they can be better served through consistent and firm boundaries. See how many times you catch yourself projecting your reality onto others. “Why do I?” instead of “Why do they.” Turn the process around and reflect within. Explore what beliefs you are holding. Discern what is best and highest for you in that moment. Look deeply at what old patterning you are living. Are these patterns productive? Or are these beliefs and patterns what you have been told or taught without real introspection on how they govern and control your perceptions. Instead, follow your heart. Become aware of the ego and the old patterns that you have played out over and over again without reaching a desired outcome (a projected expectation). See how realistic these expectations we force on others really are.
The next article will be on a deeper understanding of the expressions here as they relate to the passive and aggressive; the Empath and narcissist and the Twinflame models currently reflecting in our reality.
Much Love and Peace,
Leslie
theETHEREALweb 