“I will not attach my sense of well-being to a stream of thought that pulls up old wounds to define my present moment.”
Leslie Jo Thornton Cheshire
How do we speak to ourselves? What words do we use to define our reality? How do we speak to others and what does this tell an aware being about us? Examining and understanding the language we use to navigate this reality is a tool to self-awareness. Self-reflection shows us what we believe and how we use what we believe. It uncovers our ingrained ideas and the limited concepts we have embraced within this matrix. Our choice of words can teach us about the paradigms we use and the unconscious ways we move through this reality.
Words and language are vibration. The myriad of vibrations present here give a wide palette for expression. We are all composed of energy and vibration. It is all that there is. Understand this, and that our choice of words defines our reality. This is a big step in changing ones perceptive abilities. One example is when someone says, “I love unconditionally.” Or they say, “I love everyone whether they deserve it or not.” With the first I hear, ‘I am practicing loving unconditionally.” With the second I hear, “I like the concept but I only love you unconditionally if you deserve it!” The second tells me the individual is still in the understanding phase of grasping the concept. It is a very different message. To love unconditionally is exactly that, love with no conditions whatsoever. Therefore, any 3D concept of deserving is a very small perspective.
Donald Neale Walsch speaks to words and vibrations in the “Conversations with God” series. When we communicate with Source or God or any other concept of Spirit language is very important. Many of the beings working with you have not actually lived in human form. It is an education both up and down in communication. When I say to the universe, “I am…,” as opposed to “I want…,” I am sending two very different messages. With the “I am” statement I am owning aspects and desires within myself and working towards those goals. “I am this.” ” I am becoming this.” When I say to the universe, “I want.” I am asking for the experience of wanting not of being. I am asking for the limbo state of being inherent in wanting. This is not a vibration I wish to manifest in my reality.
Now let’s look at the word “Try.” “I am trying to do it!” Look up the word in the dictionary. Trying has nothing to do with succeeding. With trying, the vibrational implication is that “failing” (a 3D concept) is an option. When this reality is viewed from a broader perspective, there is no failure. We are not 3D meat suits driven by base ideas and fears. We are all here by Spirit’s will. And the small judgments and paradigms playing out here are just that. There is no failure, just corrections in the making. If I hit a tennis ball two inches outside the line have I failed? No. I have only “failed” if I do not learn and grow from the experience. If I continue to hit the ball two inches out I have not been productive in correcting my course. See? To “Try” is to embrace a concept of failure which is not real. It is a paradigm seeded into our consciousness.
Instead of using “Try to,” and the vibrational baggage in the global consciousness around it, I say “I will do my best.” I no longer try. I do my best. My best varies from day-to-day. But I give my best in all situations. If I don’t feel that I can do or be my best, I do not engage. Here is a useful experiment; The next time you are asked to do something and you are unsure if you can accomplish the task, instead of saying “I’ll try,” say “I’ll do my best.” You can feel the difference in your body when using the latter. When one can choose not to be defined by 3D concepts of success and failure, all this baggage around these paradigms becomes silly.
We are learning what we really are, and that our language is an ever- mutable construct. The process can be painful. Pain is unavoidable in human form. Suffering is not a basic construct of Spirit. Suffering is a continuation of a trauma carried forward into a souls reality. Pain is an immediate response to a stimulus. It can be physical and or psychological in nature. It is a transitory state in which one’s defenses kick in to protect the physical or mental well-being of an individual. Suffering, on the other hand, is the state or condition persisting long after the threat is gone. This is a wound. We can heal wounds. Suffering and carrying baggage and burdens into our futures is not the natural flow.
Think of the mind and body as a wave and a particle. We are all frozen light. Light contains two distinct properties. That of a wave. This is the mental aspect, with our thoughts and concepts and the paradigms we have embraced. The body is the particle. The body is the physical manifestation of the mind. Mind being ethereal and the wave creating the particles physical manifestation of a body here. We are the product of all our thoughts. These thoughts are creating our individual and global experiences here. The mind drives the manifestation. The mind controls the projection of the physical.
The mind is the mental/spiritual, and the body is the physical particle manifestation. The body is the result. And all of this is based on our understanding and use of language and what it expresses vibrationally coupled with how we each choose to communicate with ourselves and our world. The mind is the new frontier. It is the conduit to the higher energies, experiences and understandings. When the mind is taught to use language (vibration) thoughtfully suffering fades.
The word “Should” is an example of how unconscious some patterns are. What does the word “Should’ mean to you? How should the world be? What are your thoughts when presented with a should? What shouldn’t be happening? The word should is used as an obligation, a duty, a requirement. It is a 3D construct to control the masses. Our highest duty is to be the best version of ourselves. We have a duty to bring this physical being into a new awareness not to jump through societal hoops of “correctness.”
Should is by the nature in its vibration, a judgement. One group decides another should not eat meat. Or one should live without comfort to reach enlightenment. These are our individual ideas, our perceptions of reality. “Shoulds” are our belief systems. We are projecting onto others. It has not been proven that meat is bad. And I know many deeply spiritual beings with resources. this language reflects an inability for one Soul to see past their own reality to see another’s perspective or path. This thinking leaves no room for a God or Source. It implies that some of us are not of Source or God. And that our free will in expression is somehow inferior to their current beliefs. When all is God, regardless or not, if we as individuals do not like what is being reflected back to us and insist things “should be” different. This is judgement!
Often it is a judgement about something that has already happened. It is already in the past. Does one cry over spilled milk? One can if they choose to suffer. Or one can see the spilled milk and take action to correct the misstep. There is an acceptance that the milk has spilled. No suffering and lamenting or accusations are going to shift the reality. And all the “should haves” in the world don’t change what happened. How many times do you choose to revisit the experience of the “spilled milk?” These thoughts only serve to continue your struggle.
Should is obsolete. Should is a 3D concept of projecting one’s personal reality unto another and judging the validity of their actions. If you are saying to another, “You should…,” then it is likely you speak to yourself in the same judgmental ways. And are constantly, unconsciously judging yourself in these same ways. Watch your language and thoughts. Keep the compass internal. Spend one day committed to never once using the word “Should.” Watch how difficult it becomes to express yourself. If you are stumbling for words, you are judging yourself and others. If you struggle to find a way to express your thoughts without the word “Should,” You are projecting your reality into another’s without any real understanding of their experience. As C G Jung, so eloquently put it, “Thinking is difficult, that’s why most people judge.”
Emotions, pain and suffering are interconnected. Emotions can spark pain, and pain can spark emotion. We are not our emotions. These come and go routinely. Emotions are not who we are. They are a modality for expression in a 3D matrix. Emotion on the other levels and in other realms is very different. When the body is expanded energetically and cleared of old debris emotion moves through and is released for the healing of the wound. We remove our blocks to flow and we heal naturally. We make the mistake of defining ourselves by our emotions. We forget the immutable core of our essence and descend into the illusion. Next time you find yourself in emotional pain, stop and ask yourself, “What am I thinking?” Did the thought or the feeling come first? This is a good exercise in how aware of your body and thoughts you are.
The mind and body are so interconnected that emotions arise in two distinct ways. At times a disturbing thought or memory will trigger a physical response. In these instances we have a cognitive source for our perceived pain. Or, in many instances, an uncomfortable feeling will arise and there is no drama or thought attached. In either instance we engage a stream of thought to a conclusion. Depending on how we choose to engage, we can either explore and navigate the thoughts and feelings consciously, ignore the thoughts by distracting ourselves, or totally reject the thoughts. When emotional pain arises absent of an apparent thought catalyst there are additional ways to pursue the wound and heal it.
Consciously creating space for ourselves, and looking and exploring these thoughts is the quickest avenue to resolution and release. This is simple, but not as easy as it sounds. This involves journeying into our pain and finding the core wounds. It is deeply reflective work. Why is a button pushed? It is Spirit’s way of awakening us. This approach helps each of us to remember who we really are and to see that the obstacles in our path to growth are products of years of our thoughts on limitations and our conditioning. When we can drop the conditioning and the dysfunctional paradigms streaming in this matrix, we begin to shift ourselves to peace and the collective as well. The only way we change the collective consciousness is to change ourselves. This type of growth and insight will change our self view and the world view. Instead of a victim mentality of, “Why is this happening to me?” our focus becomes, “What is this showing me about my perceived limitations and wounds?” Suffering is about remaining in our wounds. Pain comes and goes. A mental pattern must be present that supports the concept for prolonged suffering.
To ignore, is to suppress or repress. In essence adding additional injury to the old wounds and seating them more deeply into the physical form. All of this is recorded in our genetic structure and permeates the global view as well. This leads to further lessons and situations that push the same buttons. Then, as the button is more deeply seated with past practices, the button becomes larger, more painful and harder to move. Envision a physical wound unhealed for decades. This wound gets poked and irritated frequently. It begins to fester and encapsulate. Layer after layer of unresolved pain and hurt are added as emotions and buttons are ignored and repressed. This is a deep and unaddressed wound. When left unhealed, these wounds spill over into every aspect of our expression here. Wounds, unattended to, fester and grow. The expression goes, “Do not bleed on those that did not cut you.” The mistake we make here is in thinking we are avoiding pain by ignoring it. We are just turning pain into prolonged suffering. This unhealed pain is then carried forward to harm others through dysfunctional practices and harming behaviors present in the unbalanced Soul’s patterns of pain and abuse carried forward by those in pain.
To deny our pain causes the greatest suffering of all. Would you deny your child’s pain? Would you deny that of your dearest friend or the beloved pet, or your spouse? What message would that send on the deepest levels to those involved? It vibrationally says you don’t matter. When we do it to ourselves, we are saying “I don’t matter!” I have an agenda, pain or not and this is inconvenient.” Yet, you or a loved one have had a large and emotional response. When we deny a lesson or a response in our body, we are disclaiming them, nullifying them to the human and the Spirit in us. This is when the greatest pain is felt and the deepest wounds produced and left to fester from neglect. In these states, we are outside the flow and unaware. Denial is the one thing that makes it impossible to heal. If one cannot accept that there is work to be done then it doesn’t get done. Donald Neale Walsch says, paraphrasing here, “The amount of suffering we experience is directly proportional to the difference between what is really happening and our desired outcomes…the greater the gap…the more pain experienced.” Our language when used unconsciously with ourselves and others feeds this gap.
The other primary way of experiencing pain or discomfort is when emotion comes from nowhere. We cannot find the trigger in our thoughts or the situation. Unfortunately we have been conditioned to believe that all things must be defined. The paradigm of understanding. The first three approaches discussed are possible here to but the triggered individual adds a dimension to the process and begins to pull up past wounds that fit the feeling. From my experience I have learned to stop this process. I do not attach to a stream of thought that pulls up old wounds to define my present moment.
This is an amazing tool. I have an agreement with my highest. I am clearing all old emotion and debris. Often a feeling will arise as residual energies around a specific wound are still clearing. The lesson has been received and these are the vestiges of that healing. Instead of the paradigm of suffering, pulling up old patterns and reliving old wounds and writing a story to define my experience, I have an agreement with myself, Leslie, and the energies of my highest. If I don’t need a story, I don’t want a story! No more “pasting,” the bringing up the old and tainting the new moment. Very rarely, when this happens, I get the story. But when I do, it is an expanded insight into my process and necessary for where I am or I am going. This type of arrangement with my highest is helpful in two ways. First, I do not waste time suffering and reliving trauma or revisiting old business. Second, when I need the scoop to better manifest and grow, I remain open and receptive and receive the guidance needed.
We say things like “I am sad.” “I am angry.” But, truthfully these are not what we are, EVER. “I am…” is an affirmation of being. It is a vibration of growth. We are beings of immense potential. At times, we feel this or that. Instead of “I am hurt,” which says to the universe “I am this…hurting,” which the universe then reflects back what you what you choose to focus on. “I am’s” are affirmations of your state of being, not a transitory feeling. Instead of saying, “I am hurting,” state emotions as transitory, “I feel pain”, “I feel hurt in this moment.” I feel sad in this moment.” This emotion is not what we are, it is simply a feeling brought about by old wounds I have yet to find and heal.
There is so much in language. Watch your words. Not just the words you project into this matrix but the internal dialogue and vocabulary we use to navigate our moment. If you find you have responded unmindfully in a situation do you say to yourself, “I am stupid.” Or do you say, “That was not my wisest choice in the moment.” Or, “That didn’t go as envisioned. What can I learn from this to better serve me and the circumstances in the future?” This builds on the difference between reacting and acting or responding with mindfulness.
The first statement, “I am stupid,” is a judgement. It is a reaction. The way one has learned to communicate with themself in the cognitive years. These patterns if untouched, are formed around ten years old. These patterns are old, outdated, immature and ineffective in the new paradigm developing. The old patterns of communication are riddled with judgement, competition, division and divisiveness. They imply failure and the psyche and Spirit develop an unproductive limited pattern to navigate their experience. If it is said long enough, regardless of how unconsciously it is expressed, it becomes part of the psyche and the individual’s unconscious world view. We allow poor self-awareness and communications skills to define ourselves.
The second statement,”That was not my wisest choice in the moment” is a better and more effective approach. This works when one is still in the process of learning self-awareness. It is an acknowledgement of internal process and a reconnecting with aspects of Self. It is the doorway to 4D. It is an acceptance that growth is warranted. It also acknowledges the creation of a new awareness of self, to self and in relationship to the whole. It opens the door to knowing oneself in all aspects. Both the light and the shadow. It is a request to Source to know oneself and to find clarity in our individual experiences here.
Let’s talk about the third statement. “What can I learn from this to better serve myself and the circumstances for the collective in the future?” It is a response that reflects one’s awareness within a system. This type of thinking transcends the 3D and some portions of the 4D reality and encompasses the knowing of oneness. It shows that an individual’s view is part of the world and collective expression here. And every individual expression is part of a much larger whole. There is balance between one’s personal view and the understanding that there is really no individual view at all. It aligns one with a higher vision of healing oneself and the dynamics we encounter. We heal the collective as well as ourselves in this type of process.
In summary, Spend one day never saying, should, try or want. Replace should with a desire to understand why you think another “Should” see it your way. “Shoulds” vibrationally are riddled with fear. And replace try with “I’ll do my best.” Keep in mind that our best varies greatly day-to-day and moment to moment. Drop the word want from your vocabulary and replace it with “I am…” affirmations. Separate yourself from the illusion that defines you as the flights of whimsy we call emotions.
The next article will be on the paradigms around passive/aggressive and how it applies to the collective. It permeates the Narcissist/Empath and Twin Flame paradigms. Such exciting times.
Love and Blessings
Leslie