THE ENERGETICS OF SUFFERING III Twin Flames and Soulmates

 

The ego develops in the cognitive years of childhood as a tool to actualize Spirit.  It then becomes distorted and polarized based on the cultural and societal demands placed upon it.  I think of the ego and my inner child as joined.  This is where I find most of the destructive patterns in my reality.  The veils, density, and programming in this matrix indoctrinate the ego into duality instead of unity.  Duality, an expression of Ego, implies we are not one. Duality, in its truest forms, with awakened application of the third dimensional tools, is a gift from Source.  At one time, this was a magnificent playground of harmony and expression.

Let’s look at the Twin Flame paradigm. I have read hundreds of articles and thoughts on the Twin Flame paradigm as it presently permeates this reality.  Any relationship that does not endure through time is or can be a flame experience.  It is up to each of us how we perceive and facilitate our knowing and growth in these dynamics.  The more tumultuous the dynamic, the more opportunity Soul is presented with to grow.  There are examples of twin flames together in this reality. The percentage, however, is minuscule compared to the population.  The latest statistics indicate that less than one percent of the current population can manifest an enduring “Twin Flame” relationship.  It does not mean it’s not possible, this means we are not there yet as a global consciousness.  And I’ll add twin flames are not necessary to awake and to grow.

A twin flame has a contract with you.  Flames often have many lifetimes and pasts with your projection in the 3D or are Soul Tribe coming into aid.  These shards make an agreement to “Spark” one another in their group.  Every true twin flame experience I am personally aware of has ended.  A flame appears, rocks your world, and then leaves.  I have seen this time and time again.  Through flame “Runners” and in flame suicide.  Most contracts between twin flames are not for a lifetime.  This model produces suffering.

Having said that, I believe twin flame relationships that endure become soul mate relationships.  This is not a given.  It is a function of timing.  As in any relationship, timing is everything.  Two souls come together with like goals and like ego wounds.  Goals and Soul change constantly in the flux of this matrix.  For two Souls to find one another and remain on parallel paths is very difficult.  Instead we bog down in our wounds and miss the messages.  And one of the twins runs.

Eartha Kitt said it wonderfully, in an interview on love.  She was asked if being in love was in essence falling in love with her own reflection in another.  And she said, “Yes.”  Isn’t this true? We love how we reflect in the ones we love.  But, when a refection, the mirror, is distorted and riddled with wounds there can be no accurate reflection.  See?  This opens many doors to self-awareness within the “Reflection.”  When we see the dynamic for what it is; a catalyst for self discovery through our reflection in another that is also part of our whole.  We then we can begin to understand our wounds.  With this awareness we can heal.

There is no need for suffering, when we understand the real purpose behind our time here.  In nature, hawks, beavers and barn owls are monogamous.  These animals mate for life.  That is not how the human has evolved.  It is borne out in the statistics of the day.  High divorce rates.  Many “Millennials” are choosing not to marry.  The masculine physical is wired to spread his seed.  The feminine physical is wired to discern a good mate, because she is the one expected to raise children.  All of these expectations come from religion and the ensuing societal and cultural demands.  We’ve make ourselves unwell trying to fit our expanded knowing into these small boxes.  Step out of societal and cultural limitations and listen to your soul.  Soul cares little for the dramas here.  We are awake, aware beings.  The old paradigms no longer fit.

The new soul coming in is less veiled in their understanding of the 5D model of connection.  Marriage was originally a contract to protect property.  It was not about love. Religion then attached a spiritual meaning to union.  Then all were expected to be monogamous. Humans at best are serial monogamists, having one bonding relationship after another.  Some endure for a decade or so but most dissolve when wounds and ego cannot be healed.  All the expectation around how relationships “Should be,” has been mandated in religion, society and culture.  And most Soul is still entrenched in this paradigm.

The Twin Flame is an old friend.  It is not the physical. It is an energetic bond much larger than 3D would illustrate.  This is why the energetics are so overwhelming. Most often the connection is deep, stirring and awakening sexually.  We are touching parts of ourselves in the whole.  Pardon the pun.  We feel the Oneness for an instant.  It is the highest in both of you, working together to break open the heart and the connection to the whole.  Often twin flames come in and shake up everything we think we know.  The highest in all of us is not concerned with petty 3D constructs of manipulation and imposing our will on another, but in the development of our Soul.  It is about breaking the veils and programming we are all subjected to.

My personal experience with twin flames has been difficult and sad. In some instances it has even been devastating.  Until I began to understand the pitfalls of the paradigm.  The last was a two year whirlwind in which I was constantly having to set boundaries for my less awake partner.  But this difference in development didn’t stop me from exploring every fear and expectation I held around relationships.  He was perfect in his wounds to show me where I needed to grow.  He presented issues around cultural norms and gave me an opportunity to really look at my ideas and fears involving relationships.  The fears of rejection and abandonment were big for me.  I let them go.  I let it all go.

I must add here that one’s awakening is not contingent on a partner.  I had my first activation of the Kundalini five years ago in Peru.  There wasn’t a flame for many miles.  It happened after a ceremony involving “The Grandfather,” San Pedro.  My second arose during sex with my partner in 2014.  It was interesting, but by no means was he responsible for my expression of these energies.  Only I was.  He just happened to be there.  And the third, and most intense, happened while I was alone at home, after meditating in July of 2015.  Let go of the idea that someone else is necessary for you to grow and raise your vibration.  We, alone, are responsible for what we create here and our experience as part of the whole.

Is it possible that we are everything we need to be our highest?  Yes!  Is it possible that this whole paradigm is rampant with suffering?  Yes!  Is there a deeper understanding of these dynamics?  Yes!  Is suffering an ego construct? Yes!  It is in our attempts to fit our round-peg-selves into what square pegged society says we are.  Is this reality map warped?  Yes. Then how do we find our way back to a balanced and realistic understanding of the dynamics embedded in these situations?

We enter this life and leave this life alone.  We take our first breath and our last breath alone.  We agree to this journey to express for self enlightenment and for the whole.  We are not guaranteed company along the way.  Relationships and family are a choice and many contracts are made and broken along the way.  Some are from old patterning and can be released because we have already outgrown the lessons inferred.  No one is bound to a mate or existence that doesn’t serve their highest.  There is no one out there that is going to awaken you. As I say “I can light the pilot, but I cannot fuel the furnace for you.”  We are afforded, based on timeline and circumstance, billions of reflections. Each of these is an opportunity to spark this broader awareness.  But when confined to the 3D model of ego-thinking we forget it is our reflection.

Remember that you are a whole and sovereign being; complete and perfect. Shards of Soul, reflections of you, come and go.  We, as projected individuals in this matrix are responsible for our own growth.  To wait around for someone else to awaken and guide us is silly and unproductive.  We are each co-creators in a vast matrix of 3D.

The 5D model of relationships is a new paradigm.  It is a model that promotes growth in union for both partners.  There is no sacrifice in this dynamic.  No suffering.  Just awareness of the journey.  Nothing is personal.  There is an understanding that all soul is wounded.  And a conscious decision to grow with another and, through awareness, heal ourselves and the collective.  And when a soul makes a mistake, it is just that a mis-take.  Like filming a movie, “That didn’t work.”  And we decide to try again.

So many have embraced the 3D model of relationships.  “I am not valued in society unless I have a mate.”  “I cannot live a productive and whole life without what society tells me I need to be happy.”  The American dream is a house, two car garage, 2.5 kids, blah blah.”  In order to have value in this society it takes another to make me whole!”  I call Bullshit! And with the ego developing during the early years, we are stuck with this unrealistic model.  I ask you to reevaluate the models and energetic patterns you were programmed with.  And to see and live your wholeness without believing that it takes another for you to be whole and accepted.

I am continuously approached by those in twin flame dynamics.  Many who base their sense of self on whether they have a mate.  I say, “this paradigm is dying.”  It is time to self-actualize and take responsibility for our own growth in awareness and wholeness.  This is possible with or without a partner.  Many young women I have worked with have had kundalini awakenings with a partner.  And they assume it was their partner!  I have had three kundalini awakenings.  Not one of them was contingent on having a partner.  This is an inside job.  People come and go.  The only one I walk this entire lifetime with is me!  And my relationship to myself is paramount.  It defines my relationship with all other Soul.  If I do not honor myself, it is impossible for me to truly honor another.  The best advice for those seeking a partner, is do your work and become the best partner yourself.

It’s all about attraction.  We attract those of the same or similar energetics and wounds.  This is Source’s way of helping us see ourselves.  If you are not attracting quality partners, then there is inner work to be done.  It is time to become the quality partner you seek.  This this sets an energetic that attracts only the best.  In the interim, we heal ourselves.  Look at what you attract, the wounds and ego dramas.  These are issues to be addressed from within.

We attract broken people, because we are broken.  We continue to project our baggage onto others. We ask, “Why did he do that?” Instead of fixing, within ourselves, what attracted the wounded soul.  Instead ask yourself, “Why do I care?”  “Why am I in this dynamic?”  “Why do I tolerate being treated this way?” Often the answer is not pretty and the lessons are about boundaries. I will be writing an article to follow on boundaries for the empath.  We lack self-esteem or we would rather have someone than feel alone.  We find ourselves “Settling” for what’s available.  This is not a foundation for a growing, lasting relationship to self or to another and rarely produces a dynamic for growth and self-awareness.

As stated above, the basic tools shared in “The Energetics of Suffering II” also apply here.  When I was seeking a mate I would watch what I attracted.  This was the best indication of my own healing and growth.  For many years I attracted very broken partners.  I realized that to improve my reflection, I must improve the image I was reflecting and heal myself first.

I have outgrown the concept of needing a partner.  This is freedom.  Freedom from what a broken and very ill society says I need.  Freedom to express myself at my highest in all moments.  No longer is it necessary to meet other people’s expectations.  And best of all, I have dropped all expectations of others.  There are no “Shoulds” left in my life.  A should is a judgement, and frankly I’m not interested in judging anything or anyone any longer.

This is how we bust the paradigm of suffering.  By no longer choosing to play the game by the old rules. By following our deepest most cherished inner knowing.  By being the whole amazing beings that we are.  It is an unfolding as we become aware of the deep wounds we have harbored and reinforced for lifetimes.  We find new and novel ways to navigate this reality and the suffering paradigm.  When actualized in Source, nothing is personal except how we choose to respond, not react, in any given dynamic. (The Energetics of Suffering II).  And with this freedom, we take charge of our lives and become aware that every instance is a choice.  Every situation an opportunity to express ourselves in the highest.

More to come on the Empath/Narcsissist model in the next article and the exploration of boundaries.

Much Love and Peace Beautiful Souls,

Leslie